Hector, or Max as he was known back then was supposedly born in Botswana, November the 5th, 1968, on a sinking wooden ferry boat, the SS Idi, to Brigid McFarquar, an English/Irish/Scottish/Welsh naturalist, and Imfusian Al BanCusi, the former Malawian government Minister of Finance. Saved from the Zambesi by a passing Greek Truffle salesman, they collected their remaining belongings and headed for in Frankfurt where they applied for political asylum. Turned down by the Germans as being non-Turkish, they moved to England via Panama. As an infant he grew up along the rich grasslands of Wandsworth and later Clapham Junction. He was educated at Harrow, Wimbledon and Eton, although he actually only attended classes in Fulham. His father spent a year away in Dunfermerline working as an apprentice wheel tappers mate. This was interspersed with brief visits to the house of correction for impersonating a police officer, one Sargeant “Whoopsie” Tweedie, while wearing an Elizabeth ruffle around his private parts. When his mother produced her fourth child and was unable to explain it she moved to France where Max spent a brief tenure with her on small seagoing vessels in Brittany, learning French in the company of rough sailors. Although classically trained on the violin, he found a niche fiddling with the local musicians on weekends.